Domestic Mylar
by Mistress of the Keyblade
Summary: Short scenes from Mohinder and Sylar's domestic life together
1. Cold Sore Part 1

**These are little snippets of dialogue from Mohinder and Sylar's domestic life together. They're short, cracky, and written entirely as dialogue. Overall rating K+ to T. Enjoy them, and leave me reviews. Oh yeah, and I don't own heroes. **

**#1- Cold Sore Part 1/2**

* * *

"Good morning Sylar."

"What? Oh… good morning."

"You were trying to sneak out of the house."

"Sneaking. Nooo… I was just going to the drug store to get some… stuff."

"Why are you holding your hand over your face?"

"What? Oh that. I didn't even notice I was doing that."

"Uh huh. Sylar, what is that?"

"What's what?"

"On your mouth… is that… a cold sore?!"

"What? No, of course not. It's a zit."

"Oh really?"

"Yes, as a matter of fact, it is. A very inconveniently placed zit. Now, I need to go get something to put on it."

"Sylar, you don't get zits. It's a cold sore."

"You don't know that. Just because you've never seen me with a zit…"

"Ew. I don't believe it! You have herpes… ew this is so gross!"

"Mohinder! It's not gross… lots of people get cold sores."

"Well I don't, and I'd like to keep it that way. I'm imposing a kissing ban until that thing is gone."

"Oh really?"

"Sylar… why are you looking at me like that? Hey, what are you doing?!?"

"…"

"MMmmfff! Hey, I said no kissing!! What was that for?!?"

"There. Now you've got herpes too, so stop complaining about it."

"I can't believe you did that!! I specifically said no kissing."

"I'm evil, remember?"


	2. Cold Sore Part 2

**#2 Cold Sore Part 2/2**

* * *

"Sylar, who did you get that cold sore from?"

"What makes you think I got it from someone? I might have had herpes all my life."

"No, my father said you were healthy in your file. He would have made a note if you had herpes."

"Maybe he didn't think it was important enough?"

"Who did you get it from?"

"I'm not telling you. You'll get all jealous."

"Tell me."

"Fine, but remember, you asked. I got it from Peter."

"Oh. Well, that's understandable."

"It is?"

"Yeah. He obviously used the power of suggestion he picked up from Eden to make you kiss him."

"He… did?"

"Of course. The same thing happened to me just the other day."

"WHAT?!"

"Um… nothing. So where do you think Peter got it?"

"I dunno. Between him and Nathan, it could have come from pretty much anywhere."

"They sure are… popular."

"…yeah…"

"What are you thinking about?"

"Just planning out how I'm going to kill Peter."

"Hey! You promised, no killing people I know."

"This is different. He kissed you, I can't let him live."

"Sylar!"

"Fine. I won't kill him, but let's make a promise."

"Okay…"

"Let's promise that neither of us will touch any of the Petrellis from now on. That includes Claire."

"But…"

"Promise me this and I won't have to kill Peter."

"But… ok. I promise."


	3. Nostalgia

**Ok, here's the next chapter. Spoilers for Parasite. This one's rated T cuz it mentions sex and torture. But only briefly. And I still don't own Heroes. Enjoy!**

* * *

"Sylar, can you bring me a garbage bag?"

"Sure. What are you doing?"

"Cleaning out the closet. Some of this stuff I haven't used in ages."

"But you can't get rid of this stuff! It has emotional value!"

"I'm only getting rid of the junk. I'm just sorting through the rest of it."

"Hey, is that our tuning fork?"

"Why, yes, I think it is!"

"Sure brings back memories, huh? Good times, good times."

"……."

"Mohinder? What are you thinking?"

"If you want, I could tie you to a chair and torture you again? Just like old times?"

"Um, no. But maybe we could skip that bit and jump to the part where I throw you around the room a bit and then we have ceiling sex for hours."

"I could call Peter… see if he wants to come over?"

"NO!"

"What? Why not?"

"I don't want you hanging around that kid. He's too… pretty."

"Fine then. But I'm not doing it without Peter."

"Fine, be that way. It was your idea anyway."

"…."

"…."

"Want some chai?"


	4. Arguments

**New chapter yay! This one's longer than the other ones. Also, sort of heavy on the Plaude. Sorry, it was on my mind. XP**

**#4 Arguments**

* * *

"Mohinder, you're home!"

"So I noticed."

"Gosh, you're grumpy. What's the matter?"

"Out of the eleven people I drove across town today—because everyone seemed to be on the complete other side of the city from where they wanted to go—only six of them paid their fares, and only four of them could afford the whole thing. Honestly, one man tried to pay me with a pack of cigarettes!"

"If you'd just take me with you, nobody would get out of the cab without paying their fares."

"I think the last thing I need is somebody complaining about the homicidal maniac sitting in the passenger seat, but thanks for offering."

"If you say so. But never mind that, guess what happened today!"

"Um… you watched TV."

"Nope."

"You painted the future."

"Nope."

"You… oh, I give up. What happened?"

"Peter and Claude broke up!"

"Again?"

"Yeah, but this time I think it's serious. Peter called me in the middle of the day. He said he was at Nathan's house, and he wanted me to go eat Claude's brain. Apparently, Claude tried to make him get a haircut."

"And did you?"

"Eat Claude's brains? Eww, no. I don't think that man even owns shampoo."

"Surely that can't make a difference to how the brain tastes… however, I am very glad you didn't eat his brain. I'm sure Peter would regret it when he wanted to hook up with him again."

"They sure fight a lot."

"Yeah."

"I'm glad we're not like that."

"What are you talking about? I tried to kill you once, remember?"

"Well yeah, but we've been going pretty steady since then. And Claude's always beating poor Peter up."

RING

"Can you get that, Sylar?"

…

"It was Peter. He says they're back together again."

"It's a good thing you didn't eat Claude's brain. Imagine, breaking up over something silly, like a haircut."

"Yeah. Say, you didn't wear that sweater over that shirt all day, did you?"

"Yes, why, what's wrong with it?"

"Mohinder, the shirt is purple, and the sweater is orange!"

"Yeah, so? Anyway, nobody could see my shirt, because I wore my scarf over it."

"Not the multicolored one?"

"Yeah, so?"

"That's it. I'm throwing that hideous thing away!"

"Sylar!! If you touch my scarf, I swear I'll break up with you…"


	5. Evolution

**Ok. Here's some more I-can't-sleep-and-it's-early-morning crack for you. Enjoy! Wait, lemme check… nope. Still don't own Heroes.**

* * *

"EEEEEW!!!"

"What? Mohinder, what's wrong?"

"There's a cockroach! Quick, find me a book or something I can squish it with!"

"No, don't!"

"Wha—why not?"

"Because he's my friend, that's why. We met in Texas. I call him Sylar and if you kill him I will be very, very angry."

"You call him _Sylar_? Why on Earth did you name your pet cockroach after yourself?"

"Can I just point out that we are standing next to a lizard named Mohinder as we speak? Anyway, I'd rather have a cockroach named after me than a lizard. Cockroaches are the pinnacle of evolution, remember?"

"Okay, first of all, I didn't name Mohinder, my father did—"

"—That doesn't make it any less creepy—"

"—And second, I would rather have a lizard than an icky, creepy, crawly cockroach."

"Sylar could survive a nuclear holocaust. Can Mohinder do that?"

"Erm…well…no, not exactly."

"See? I win."

"Hmph."

"I have an idea! Let's put Sylar and Mohinder in the tank together, so they can be friends. They can represent our love!"

"Ew, I don't even want to think about the implications of that…"

"There, see? They seem to be getting along nicely."

…

"Aaaaargh!!! Nooooooo!"

"Sylar! What's wrong?"

"Y-your lizard… it ate m-my best friend!"

"Mohinder ate Sylar?"

"…he was my only friend… he was there for me when I was all alone…"

"So… he could survive a nuclear holocaust but not a hungry lizard? That's ironic."

"…he loved me, even before I knew you… he didn't care about all the things I'd done…"

"Okaaaaay, this is getting creepy. Cheer up, alright? We'll get you a new cockroach! In fact, I think I saw some run under the refrigerator this morning. Maybe you… could… look there? Sylar? Why are you staring at me like that?"

"…"

"Sylar?"

"You'll pay for this…"


End file.
